In case the girlfriend could flirt, she’s likely to flirt. Acting like a deranged, hyper-jealous mind case isn’t planning to stop people from performing everything. Indeed, it will probably just exacerbate this lady need.
20. Flirting with female cops, TSA representatives, protection guards, alongside ladies in uniform because we assumed these people were homosexual.
I lust after a woman in a consistent, but unfortunately never assume all women in uniforms crave after me.
21. LENGTHY FINGERNAILS.
I love those very long, pointy Lana Del Rey fingernails. However, my ex-girlfriend would not value them whenever I attempted penetration with those brutal talons.
Oh, the sacrifices you trends lezzies must alllow for intercourse! The good news is sexual climaxes feel good than acrylic nails taste.
22. Faking an orgasm.
You are in a position to fake orgasms with guys, you can’t fool yours gender, honey. Read this option the tough method.
23. non-safe sex, because, you know, “lesbians can’t have STIs.”
I’m surprised I managed to get away from my naughty step (We state “slut” in a motivated way! Don’t concern!) without finding every STI under the sun.
Used to don’t even know just what a dental care dam got when I got 21. I was thinking it actually was something they caught within mouth area during the dental practitioner. And I also dislike the dentist.
24. Playing into the “helpless femme” stereotype.
Simply because culture associates womanliness with weakness doesn’t mean i need to play the role. Screw that. We don loads of mascara, look great in pale green, and will save myself personally from whichever tragedy.
25. Falling in love while lost at lesbian events.
“Owen, I’m in love” I once slurred to my closest friend in the now-defunct Williamsburg homosexual bar “Sugarland.” The second morning we woke using my heart pounding and my personal throat as dried out given that Sahara desert.
I was suddenly overloaded with uncomfortable recollections of pronouncing my personal love to a lady whose title or face i possibly could maybe not remember. For the following seasons, I lived-in incessant concern about operating into this lady again.
PSA: the WORLD is actually SIMPLE. SHOULD YOU DECIDE EMBARRASS YOURSELF IN FRONT OF GIRL YOU HAVE GOT An 110 PERCENTAGE CHANCE OF WORKING INSIDE HER AGAIN.
26. contacting my personal girl my personal ex-girlfriend’s title.
Though i did so see a great way to escape this. In the event that you call the girl your own ex-girlfriend’s identity, merely returning the annotated following:
“Oh hottie, I’m SO sorry. We called you the girl term because We connect the girl with stress and I’m exhausted at this time! There Is A Constant worry me away, which is why it seems overseas to say your gorgeous term whenever I believe exhausted.” Works like a charm.
“Only a lesbian could think about that,” my pal Kevin considered myself while I told your the way I had gotten from calling my sweetheart the wrong title. He’s not completely wrong.
27. considering I’d a “type.”
We familiar with think We liked babes with short hair who have been taller than me. Today we see we don’t discriminate.
Butch, femme, stalk, high, small — I like all kinds of lesbians (while the French will say, lesbiennes). Purr.
28. Playing difficult to get.
I used to thought if I blew off a night out together or performedn’t text the girl I lusted over right back, she’d at all like me more. However noticed that that game does not utilize women (at the least perhaps not positive, mentally-stable female). It simply can make her believe that you’re a manipulative little twerp, and she does not have time for 
that, okay?
29. Slipping up-and advising a woman on the earliest Tinder big date I’d already considered this lady Instagram.
“Oh, yeah, the pet, Fred! He’s soooo pretty.”
“How do you realize We have a pet named Fred?”
Crickets. Crickets. And more crickets.
30. Thought initial lady I ever before dated is the passion for my life and therefore would I never get over the girl.
Initial lesbian cut will be the deepest, but I promise you, my personal heartbroken kid lesbians, you’re not expected to find yourself with 1st woman your date. Actually, you need ton’t have the most important lady your date. Your feelings are too off strike, the stakes are too high. Plus, so that you can understand what you really including, you should get in there and date as many different women as you possibly can.
So dry those tears, babe. You’ll overcome their. I big-sister-lesbian pledge.